Aussiebloke instruction manual>> CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR decision to choose an AussieBloke. Your investment >> should give you a lifetime of pleasure and trouble-free operation. Please >> read these instructions carefully before use.>> * Never overfill your AussieBloke. Overfilling can affect both the >> appearance and speed of your AussieBloke and may lessen its operating life.>> * Do not attempt to seal the ventilation openings on your AussieBloke. The >> regular emission of toxic odours is an important safety feature built into >> your AussieBloke. It is not considered a malfunction under your warranty.>> * For optimum operation, you should give your AussieBloke a regular and >> * Try to keep your AussieBloke upright while getting him into the house. Use >> no hooks, as he may initially be commitment phobic. Place on a cushioned >> surface before attempting to turn on. Stand well back.>> * Contents may have settled during transportation. Actual size may vary.>> * Do not attempt to jump-start older models. Firmly grasp working parts and >> first check pressure is adequate. Allow to warm up slowly. If AussieBloke >> remains stalled, you may need to change your settings. For a start, you may >> be in the wrong gear. Consider changing into something pink and frilly.>> * Your AussieBloke has a durable outer casing but it is highly sensitive to >> knocks. Even gentle knocking can seriously distort the settings on the ego >> panel. To reset, approach the ego and stroke firmly. Compliment your >> AussieBloke on the attractiveness of his durable outer casing. Proffer a jar >> of olives, the lid of which he may care to prise open with a manly laugh. >> Sigh admiringly when this is done. Next, repeat the steps listed in "Getting >> Started". In most cases, you'll find your AussieBloke will now virtually >> * Do not leave your AussieBloke turned on in a public place, especially when >> you intend to leave him unattended. Malfunction in these circumstances is >> not covered by your guarantee.>> * Your AussieBloke will perform best if given one task at a time. THIS >> PRODUCT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR MULTI-TASKING.>> * Product may contain nuts. Choose carefully as the returns counter at >> AussieBloke Incorporated often features lengthy queues.>> * To clean your AussieBloke, immerse daily in warm water and remove any>> scuff marks with a soft cloth.>> * Tougher stains, especially those consequent to his employment in the>> workforce, may be rubbed away using a solution of alcohol, applied nightly,>> usually just after 6 o'clock.>> * Act cautiously whenever detaching your AussieBloke from the household>> power. Remember if not given occasional access to at least a feeling of>> power, your AussieBloke may become run-down and difficult to handle.>> * Your AussieBloke is not a reliable source of fashion advice. AussieBloke>> Incorporated, its agents or representatives are not responsible for any>> losses or humiliations consequent to your reliance on fashion advice given>> by your AussieBloke. WARNING: Your AussieBloke cannot spot any difference>> whatsoever between the first dress you tried on and the fourth one, despite>> the way he enthusiastically backs up your view that "the fourth one is by>> * Your AussieBloke cannot be expected to stop and ask for directions when>> driving. Customers should remember that the Earth is round, so you will>> arrive at your destination eventually. HE DOES NOT NEED YOUR ADVICE ON HIS>> DRIVING METHODS. Your AussieBloke comes with perfect eyesight but may find>> it difficult to locate small items around the house, such as his wallet and>> keys. This is not considered a fault under your warranty. According to>> information supplied by your AussieBloke, he suspects that you are>> deliberating hiding his stuff every morning.>> * Use your AussieBloke properly and only for what it is intended and you>> will enjoy years of rugged, safe and dependable service - service only>> available from the happy folks here at AussieBloke. Enjoy!>> |