I needed a good laugh Im stuggling at the moment

But feel a bit better

thanks martie 

  

Date	Weight	Loss	Total Loss	Current Weight	Comments	Waist
05/05/08	126.1					134cm
13/05/08	126.1	2.4	2.4	123.7		129cm
19/05/08	123.7	1.0	3.4	122.7		125cm
26/05/08	122.7	1.6	5.0	121.1		124cm
03/06/08	121.1	1.3	6.3	119.8		124cm
10/06/08	119.8				Public H
16/06/08	119.8	1.0	7.3	118.8		122cm
23/06/08	118.8	1.2	8.5	117.6		120cm
01/07/08	117.6	.6	9.1	117		120cm
08/07/08	117	.1	9.2	116.9		120cm
14/07/08	116.9				Bad Week
22/07/08	116.9	1.0	10.2	115.9		119cm
28/07/08	115.9				Worked
05/08/08	115.9	1.4	11.6	114.5		120cm
12/08/08	114.5	.1	11.7	114.4		120cm
02/09/08	114.4	.3	12.0	114.1	Had a break	120cm
28/10/08	114.1	+1.7	10.3	115.8	Had a break	120cm

* everything looks good on a shop window dummy, but not on me.

* I don't like anything I try on, i hate the mirrors in the change rooms

* I hate wearing a size 16

* I don't like that I feel clumsy all the time

* I hate looking bad in everything

* I have no self-esteem

* I think people are looking at me and judging me all the time

* My blood pressure is too high, the doctor keeps telling me to lose weight I say I am trying but it's not going to come off overnight

I hope things get better, as I lose the weight. I feel uncomfortable in my present body.

Cheers

I don't think I will have any energy even if I were thin, I am always on the go.  I have a grown up family but they never let me be to take time out for myself.  I often have to go for a walk or to the movies for a bit of peace and quite.  Having a grown up family is no fun either, you don't get anytime to yourself.

Cheers

I have already added my comments once before, but I have new ones to include!

I hate:

• Looking in family and friend photos and being the BIGGEST girl there
• Realising in those photos that I am nearly twice the size of most people there
• Going into shops, seeing a dress, top etc that looks amazing, trying it on and not even being able to do it up
• I dont even know what size I am atm. I gave up when i started buying size 16 clothes. I think i may be at a 18 now
• Seeing others lose weight and secretly hating them (for doing it) and myself (for not doing it) - then feeling even worse because I should not feel that way and should be happy for the other people
• Being completely internally focused with myself. My weight problem has become my life.  I am completed focused on my weight loss and when someone else tells me good news about themselves, I'm like. . . "Yeah thats great" But i dont really pay much attention to them.Then I feel even worse when I realise that I acted like that
• Being terrified of even going near a beach. My friends want to go to White Water world in a few weeks and I used to love water and going to the beach. But I dont want to go there and be the only beached whale out of my friends. They are all thin of course
• Cancelling social events because I think I'm fat and am too embarrassed to go out - I've been single for over a year now and I really want to go Speed dating. but i see little point if I go and put "Date" for a couple of men, and NONE say they want to date me. I dont think i could live through this
• So instead I am not going or I will go and put no-one down to date. That way I know that I will only get guys who want to be friends. Its easier that way.

Well thats a few more things that bug me about being overweight.

Funky Chick

Overall Goal

Swim fishy fishy fishy! Just keep swimming. . . Just keep swimming!

I'm going to MAKE IT!!!

     

Mini Goals (Restarted 21/06/2009)             Reward

1.  To Lose 10kg (weigh 97kg)               Pedicure & Manicure

2.  To Lose 10kg (weigh 87kg)                 Horse riding lessons 

3.  To Lose 10kg (weigh 77kg)              Horse Riding trek

        Before urgghhhh!                           After Wow!

I felt so horrible and I never want to have to feel that again. It felt like they were looking at me like I didnt belong.

I told ben later that i was just a little upset that I felt like I was getting looked at weirdly and it felt like I shouldnt be in there and he said that it was rediculous that I was a size 14 and I should be in there. Its hard to believe him sometimes though.

I wont be like that anymore.

Im also sick of my muffin top.

Sick of when I sit down in my car my Boobs, and two fat rolls on my stomach come together for a big sweaty disgusting party. Why cant they shrink back in a leave each other alone.

I hate that my new work shirt cuts into my arms at the sleeves and the buttons pull tight.

I hate that I get so depressed about things and feel useless and unattractive.

BUT NO MORE.

New Years Challenge Pledge: 15.3kg Lost 3.0kg- 12.3kg to Go!

"Ill Make Peace When This Is Done"

-  No one knows I'm an adventure girl at heart!  I would love to go tree climbing, learn to surf, horse-riding, skiiing etc. and use my dodgy knee as an excuse all the time.  I do have a problem, but you know what, even with a nasty knee I would give things a go if I was 'normal size' as I feel that I'm the fat chick that can't rather than being the normal size hot chick that can't.  I would rather be cute and useless at something,  than fat and presumed useless before I even start 

- I am not interested in going to theme parks in case the safety catches on rides don't fit and I'd be so so humiliated.

- All my sexy lingerie doesn't look all that sexy anymore.

- I'm not a lights out kinda girl, but that I am lately.

- I can't just walk into a store and buy a great looking outfit at a reasonable cost -it's either department store boring or expensive boutique.

- it's sometimes a catch 22. I have arthritis and extra weight doesn't help, and exercise is difficult.

- my mum has more energy than I ever have.

- my dad died early and I don't want to go the same way.

- to some people, I'm just the big chick, and that's not how i see myself.

Mini Goal - 125kg by 29th April

29 April my birthday - 125kg?

22 April
15 April
8 April
1 April
25 March
18 March
11 March
4 March

29 Feb

22 Feb

19 Feb

12 Feb

5 Feb - 137.1kg

.

.

GOAL 95kg (size 16/18)
- a healthier, happier painfree sandradeee

Overall Weightloss Ticker 

  
Whatever Works - journey in pictures can be found here

I hated running into people that I haven't seen for a while and know that they are thinking "Gee she's put on weight"

I hate getting ignored by shop assistants who think I am too fat for their store.

I hated that I would lie about my size and weight because I was in such denial and I also was too embarrased for anyone to know. I use to cut the tags off my clothes so my husband wouldn't "know" how big I was.

I hated sweating and feeling hot all of the time.

I hated having no energy.

I hated always being the big girl in my family/ work place/ amongst friends.

I hated feeling like there was nothing I could do about my weight.

I hated "You have such a pretty face......" (shame about the body).

I hated that I wouldn't buy pants because I'd have to face my real size yet my legs would chaffe in skirts.

I hate that I let tragedy become weight that I had to wear and carry around with me all day. I hate that I stopped putting myself first. I hate that the person I know I am on the inside is not the same girl on the outside.

I hate that I let other people day habits and choices give me permission to form and validate my own. I hate that I lost control.

I love that I am improving on me every day and that I am taking back control. I love that people are seeing who I am on the inside on my outside and that I am seeing it too. I love the liberation and reality that this journey has brought to me.

I use to work in customer service and I am lovely to everyone customer service person. Being kind is in my nature. I don't think I'll ever make an effort with a sale person at a "skinny girl" clothing store again, even when they see me as worthy, knowing that 99.9% of them treat large women like c!@#

My journey began 07/07/08 

My before/ during pictures: http://forum.tonyferguson.com/Topic434083-17-1.aspx

*Count Down to 2009*

*Days till New Years Eve*

Mini Goals

26/10/08 - 87kgs or less for my birthday 01/11 - 89.4kgs

Halloween Challenge - 88kgs - 87.3kgs      

30/11/08 - under 80kgs - the home stretch - 81.8kgs

31/12/08 - goal under 70kgs

Week 0 - 75.2kg

Week 1 - 73.8kg - 1.4kg loss

Week 2 - 74.0kg - 0.2 gain

Week 3 - 73.1kg- 0.9kg loss

Week 4 - 73.9kg - FAIL 0.8kg gain