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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, 17 February 2010 12:38 PM
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I've noticed a few posts from people with mental health issues and I felt a thread for people with mental health issues, who are willing to discuss it publicly, was needed. Let me introduce myself.
I'm Michelle, I'm 42 and I have a mental illness. I was confirmed with Seasonal Affective Disorder after self diagnosis, about 14 years ago, though it actually started when I was 13. Its a mood disorder, similar to Bipolar Disorder, the only difference being, I get my lows in winter and my highs in summer. At least I can plan ahead for them. The last couple of years has seen rapid and drastic swings in moods at odd times and I might now be fully Bipolar - rapid cycle. Its very common for people with mood disorders to have weight problems as well. Possibly the highest number of over weight people with mental health issues comes out of this category.
I am stabalised now, as I'm on medication I have to take every day. If I miss it, I slip backward quite quickly. A couple of weeks ago, I missed 2 days and ended up taking a week to get back to balance and back on track with my programme. I've taken Lovan for this for about 10 years now, only recently having to take it every day. I used to be able to stop in summer, but now I can't risk what effect that will have. I am very happy to take my pills each day because of the huge quality of life it has meant at the expense of taking 2 small tablets.
If I don't take them, then its a mere matter of day for me to sleep backward. I get a flat affect (show no emotion at all), this eventually leads to full brown depression and if not checked, I become suicidal. You wouldn't know to look at me I had this, unlike other disabilities I can keep mine hidden with medication. I choose not to hide it though. To me there is no stigma and I refuse to buy into one. I don't throw it out there along with the 'how's the weather?'s when I meet people, as I don't think it should be focused on at all, I just won't hide the truth. I'm not ashamed of something I can't fix permanently.
I have been in the depths of hell with this. I've put myself through emotional tortures and been put through them by other people, that most people wouldn't have the first idea about. But I survived. Its because I've been dealing with this for nearly 30 years that I can look back and say even in the darkest times, it will pass.
The reason for starting this thread is simple. Mental illness is serious. It can have tragic effects on the family and loved ones of people with mental illness, but it doesn't have to be tragic. People with mental illness can have a productive, 'normal', wonderful, magical life. I know, I have one. It takes a whole team of people to help someone with mental illness to come to understand it and work with it, but it also takes others who are ongoing survivors, who understand in a way no-one else can, to be there to support each other. So, if you feel brave enough, please add to this thread. If you don't feel you can do that, please PM me any time. I will get back to you as soon as I'm on line.
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Friday, 15 January 2010 9:09 AM
Posts: 194,
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Hey, good to know that there are people out there with MI (mental illness) too..
I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, social anxiety, chronic suicidal tendencies, traits of Borderline Personality Disorder, and PTSD.. These all really kinda stemmed from childhood. I experienced things in my childhood that I do not wish on others but yet I get many of my friends telling me they wished they had my childhood (because I grew up in an upper middle class family). I suffered from sexual abuse and many other things which I kept within myself and well unfortunately there's only so much you can suppress before the whole thing blows up within you.
I've tried suicide heaps of times and have also ended up being committed a few times. I'm now on medication for my depression but nothing else. I also suffer from insomnia AND hypersomnia (they take turns dammit) resulting from my MI ...
Well, dunno what else to say.. oh yeah.. I have an assistance dog in training that helps me leave the house and attend uni and just plain go out in public (www.meetashlyn.wordpress.com). I also (ironically) study psychology and criminology in university. My goal is to help others like myself because I know what it feels like and I can HONESTLY say "I know how you feel" because I've gone through it.
*Dream things that never were and say why not?*
*Dream like you'll live forever, live like you'll die tomorrow*
Minimum weightloss goal
Overall weightloss goal!!
Mini goal 1 : to get to 70kg
Mini goal 2 : to get to 65kg
Mini goal 3 : to get to 60kg
Mini goal 4 : to get to 55kg (reward: 5 collarbone microdermals)
Mini goal 5 : to get to 50kg - 53kg or size 8-10 (reward: navel piercing + inverse navel type microdermal)
Ultimate reward: New wardrobe and perhaps a portrait photography session with me, partner and my babies (dogs)
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, 17 February 2010 12:38 PM
Posts: 462,
Visits: 509
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Hi Midnight,
welcome to the thread  I also have social anxiety. My meds are keeping it all under control for now. I also get paranoia. Its really hard to go out sometimes because I think people are talking about me, especially if I hear a group of people laughing. Because of this I've developed an aversion to teenagers - helps having a high school across the road! lol. I get the insomnia as well. I either can't get to sleep til about 6am, even if I was up at 3am the previous day, or I go to bed but only get 5 hours sleep and end up getting up at 3am - which usually leads to me going back to bed at 6am *sigh* Never ending circle.
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, 5 August 2009 4:19 PM
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I'm on Lovan as well. I have a weird anxiety where I always think I'm sick when I am completely healthy. I obssess about cancer and seriously illnesses thinking I'm dying, it was ruining my life and my family. Since being on Lovan I certainly feel better and do not obssess anymore...however sometimes I feel a bit numb with life. Thinking is this as good as it gets? Anyway...just felt like venting a little...glad I found this forum
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, 17 February 2010 12:38 PM
Posts: 462,
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Hi hun,
Is that OCD specifically to health issues or is it hypochondria? My sister has OCD and I tell you, I'll take what I've got over that any day.
I know what you mean about life seeming flat sometimes. I get like that. I get off on exciting, stimulating things like new adventures. People looked at me weird when I told them I flew from Melbourne to Darwin with no money, no place to stay, no job and not knowing a soul - but hey, that's what we do lol. Its why so many people with bipolar end up going off their meds, because they miss the highs. Forget the lows, just one long life of highs thanks.
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Friday, 15 January 2010 9:09 AM
Posts: 194,
Visits: 429
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omg i get paranoid about people talking about me too!! and i go to uni!! not helpful... not helpful at all. lol... great to talk to people who go through this and other MI too
*Dream things that never were and say why not?*
*Dream like you'll live forever, live like you'll die tomorrow*
Minimum weightloss goal
Overall weightloss goal!!
Mini goal 1 : to get to 70kg
Mini goal 2 : to get to 65kg
Mini goal 3 : to get to 60kg
Mini goal 4 : to get to 55kg (reward: 5 collarbone microdermals)
Mini goal 5 : to get to 50kg - 53kg or size 8-10 (reward: navel piercing + inverse navel type microdermal)
Ultimate reward: New wardrobe and perhaps a portrait photography session with me, partner and my babies (dogs)
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Wednesday, 17 February 2010 12:38 PM
Posts: 462,
Visits: 509
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Not doing so well right now. My hormons are running wild and I'm not in a good head space right now. The diet is off for now. As far as I can remember, I've never had TTOM do this to me before. Ah, what fun.
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Forum MVP!
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Saturday, 27 February 2010 9:26 PM
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| Hey Lilac Well done on starting this thread. I suffer with depression (have had a really bad couple of days but pulling out of it now), PTSD and night terrors. Yes, that's right, night terrors. Fortunately I have found a wonderful psychologist and with her help and hypnotherapy I have gone from having them 5 - 6nights a week to 3 - 4 times a month. I am not on any medication for depression for which I feel very fortunate. Depression does run in my mothers side of the family however, so I guess I'll just have to wait and see what happens in that regard. Hopefully I will avoid the worst of that disorder and just have the odd ups and downs.
JulesEverything in moderation........except laughter
  
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Supreme Being
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: Sunday, 7 March 2010 5:08 PM
Posts: 399,
Visits: 843
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| Great idea to start this thread Lilac. I come from a family with a strong history of depression. Fortunately I have been off antidepressants for a few years but winter can still really be a struggle and I'm sure its SAD but at least I recognise the signs now and use a few strategies to get through. It was only when I was diagnosed with post natal depression that I was aware that I had suffered depression since my pre teens. I have a vivid memory at about 8 of questioning why I had been born as my life was so miserable. My mother just said our family had a tendancy for low self esteem but now I know its depression. Both nephews are suffering depression at the moment and at last my sister has recognised that its an inherited trait. She tried to tell me when I was in the midst of depression and feeling suicidal that I had no reason to be depressed and that taking the pills was a waste of time. Honestly, people have no idea how their flippant comments can be so destructive. However at last she has seen that the pills do help now that her sons are reaping the benefit of medication and counselling. When I started looking at our family tree, it was amazing to see how many were alcoholics and apparently alcoholism and depression have a strong link. Thank goodness my days of uncontrolled drinking are way behind me but I could have easily ended up with a dependence on it. My girls are in their teens now, so I'm planning on keeping a close eye on their habits and hope to prevent them from slipping down the same slope as I did.
 
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